ALLITERATION
BonusParts from A to Z
A: Alliteration
Welcome to the first post in my BonusParts A to Z theme year! Every 2 weeks or so, I’ll take a letter from the alphabet and choose a word or phrase that begins with that letter and write about what that word or phrase means to me and my writing. This being the first post, I’m starting with the letter A.
When I initially sat down to write this post, I thought I’d look at character names that start with A, since I have so many of them. Just off the top of my head, there’s Aksel, Alana, Amber, Anan, and Aral. But each one of those characters means something uniquely special to me, and I couldn’t put my finger down on just one to write about. So, I turned to my style. One technique I use a lot is Alliteration.
What’s Alliteration?
Alliteration, for anyone out of the know, is when the same sound occurs at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words. Many tongue twisters employ alliteration, such as the popular Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. That repetitive hard P sound is alliterative.
People in the past have accused me of being a bit too in love with words. I don’t deny that. Words can create sadness or horror just as easily as they can beauty and joy. One reason I love stories is for their malleable structure. Of course, too much of anything is not necessarily a good thing. That said, every edit requires a concentrated effort to rein in the more whimsical flourishes that flitter off in my first drafts. Here’s one from my current work in progress….
He lay like a pale, dreaming doll, blindfolded, ball-gagged, and bound by long sashes of shimmering satin to the four corners of the bed. He was shirtless, and his trousers had been pulled open to the very last teeth of his zip. Crouched atop him was a petite woman who was mostly naked herself, save for a set of scarlet lingerie cut daringly from silk and lace. She turned at the interruption of their entrance, flame-red hair tumbling around her shoulders. While beautiful, she moved with a coordination that could more accurately be described as ruthlessness rather than grace.
That opening alliterative phrase – blindfolded, ball-gagged, and bound – came to me as many phrases do, as I was on the edge of wakefulness (a topic for another time). Using that basic phrase as a core, I built it out into a more complete description of the moment. I added more embellishments because they’re fun, and I ended up with the paragraph above.
When to use alliteration
Alliteration, like other stylistic devices, can be tricky to use. Too much, and it becomes messy and distracting. Not enough, though, and prose runs the risk of being boring. An editor or beta reader may read this and tell me to pull it back a bit. I myself might even go back in a later revision and decide that it goes too far. But for right now, I like it. And isn’t that what really matters?
How do you fashion phrases? Do you like alliteration? What would you tell me about the example paragraph above? Let me know in the comments section below!
Nice alliteration, it sounds good, though I am not familiar with. the term “ball-gagged” and that tripped me up for a bit. Also, I am confused by “their entrance”, is there someone else in the room besides the couple?
I love alliteration, and I always use it in my early drafts, then prune them in later drafts depending on whether they still fit the story as a whole. I tend to go overboard with literary devices when I’m first getting to know a story, but because those drafts don’t get shared with anyone else, I feel free to explore to my heart’s content!
I didn’t know “ball-gagged” either–perhaps a tennis ball in his mouth secured by cloth tied around his head???
I’m curious about the interruption, and I like how it’s vague about whether or not this guy is in trouble or if he’s a willing party, haha.
Thanks, Naomi! A ball-gag is a bondage item. I’m familiar with them so it didn’t occur to me that it might trip up someone else. That’s why it’s always great to have a second (or third or fourth) pair of eyes look at anything. 🙂
The “they” referred to is the rest of the team.
Thanks for dropping by!
Oooh, I’m liking that example! Sultry, passionate, but with that underlying tone of power. Some has had their fun interrupted and it’s not going to end well, I’d imagine.
Personally speaking, I never really think about using alliteration, it just tends to happen sometimes. Going back and re-reading it, I can understand what you mean when an author takes it too far. It’s fun when used in moderation, as with many tools.
One piece I’m currently working on has: ‘”Gunnners to their stations!” The Captain yelled as he ran up the gangway, and he was rewarded with the double ‘thoom’ of the topside twin turbolaser tearing down a strafing TIE Fighter.’
Thanks, Kate!
First drafts are there to play, as far as I’m concerned. I do find that I trim a lot of literary devices in later edits, too. Your and Naomi’s stumbling over the ball-gag mention (it’s a bondage/BDSM thing) has made me rethink this bit already. That’s why I like getting feedback from other folks, though!
I personally love alliteration — I think it’s my favorite and most used literary device. I just finished reading a fantasy book to my youngest son (9), and it was meant to be read aloud to kids. The alliteration was so much fun for me — and it got my son wanting to read out loud sometimes, too! So there’s another use for alluring alliteration! 😀
The rhyme and pattern of certain words clustered together can definitely create a more enjoyable reading experience, Lila. It’s great to hear that your son is interested in reading from this, too! Too often, I see reading falling to the wayside of interests in kids, in favor of games and sports and other entertainment. Those things can all be fun, too, but we’re doing our best to cultivate a love of reading in our family. I’m happy to hear others are, as well!
Thanks for stopping by!
That last line is great, Chase! I love when dynamic prose just seems to write itself like that.
This particular scene of mine was a tricky one to describe. I wanted to set it up quickly because it’s part of a larger adventure moment, and alliterative prose can often help me create atmosphere without a lot of extra words. But reading some of the feedback, I’ve rethought the moment to be somewhat simpler. Still impactful but without the tongue-twisting. 🙂
Thanks for sharing!