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Excerpt: Fearless, Chapter 7 (draft)

by | Mar 10, 2012 | Excerpts, Fearless, Process

…[I]f the whole truth were to be known, Neville wasn’t the only one who found the ups and downs of this romance mystifying; Ross himself had trouble figuring out just what it was he was supposed to say and do for Amber, and when. Women before her hadn’t seemed at all to care about his thoughts or his feelings, just that he performed to a degree of satisfaction.

But Amber constantly pressed him for his opinion on things, even of the most mundane nature:

“Which do you prefer?” she asked as they were browsing the produce at Crispin’s later in the week. “Cherry tomatoes, or plum?”

“I don’t care,” he muttered, picking up one yam and trading it for another of heftier quality that he dropped into their basket.

She made a sniffing sound. “What do you mean, you don’t care?”

“I mean, I don’t care,” he replied. “A tomato’s a tomato.”

“They’re not all the same,” Amber insisted. “If they were, they’d all be called just ‘tomato.’ Not ‘Roma’ or ‘Campari’ or whatnot.”

He turned to her with an exasperated groan. “What does it matter? They taste essentially the same-”

“Ah-ha!” she snapped, pointing her finger at him, nearly into his nose. “So you admit that they aren’t all exactly alike!”

Ross pushed her hand away from his face. “It doesn’t make a difference.”

“It makes quite a bit of difference!” she told him with a nod. “If you prefer one over the other, then we should get that one, and not settle for something you don’t like as much, just because you don’t want to commit to a decision about it.”

He groaned again, and then – because there were other people about – he leaned toward her, rumbling, “I don’t care! And what’s more, I don’t understand why this rubbish is so bloody important to you!”

She paused, then straightened on her heels, feet together, and blinked. “I just want to please you,” she said from between half-closed lips, her soft-spoken response quieting and humbling him instantly.

So he stood back again and felt his shoulders slope, as he let go a low breath. The honest, trenchant look on her face was so precious that he relaxed, and he was struck by a now-familiar surge of affection for her. He smiled then, and told her, softly:

“Cherry.”

She smiled back at him. Then she reached out and with one deft, quick stroke of her hand she stole one of the tiny tomatoes from their wooden case, and rose on her toes to pop it quickly into his mouth. And the sudden burst of sweet juice between his lips then was as nothing compared to the sweetness of her kisses later that same day, when they were back at the loft, clutching tightly to each other as she bounced up and down in his lap.

This lead-in has some light-hearted happiness to it, but there’s also a touch of conflict, if you look. Lovers experience a whole gamut of emotions when they’re courting, not all of it dealing with the sexual side of things.

In some stories, characters fall in love and that’s their story. I almost never end with just that, though. Because real love is about so much more than physical attraction or mutual affection. It’s also about the growth of trust and honesty, the overcoming of fear and uncertainty. Sometimes, love occurs from huge leaps of faith. And sometimes, love happens in the little moments. I like examining both, because I think that both are very real.

As a love story, Fearless doesn’t have any gargantuan revelations or crescendos of thrills. It’s more about people learning about themselves and about each other. It’s quiet and gentle, but I’m also hoping that it is honest, too. Because that’s what I like in the stories that I read.

Excerpt: Fearless, Chapter 6 (draft)

by | Feb 29, 2012 | Excerpts, Fearless, Process

The prelude to a bit of smuffy sex for my hero, in Chapter 6. What would a romance be, without it?

Ross took her hand with a rippling chuckle, pulling himself to his feet with her as anchor. He stood above her then, their hips and chests touching, and he dropped his head, his mouth seeking and finding hers for a kiss that began as just a delicate brush of lips but then, inevitably, became a heated exchange of passions as they wrapped their arms around each other once more. And while they must have made their way back to the shop, and they must have told Neville something when they arrived, and they must have walked up the rear steps to the eaves loft above the showroom, Ross couldn’t have said later how they did any of it. All he knew was Amber: the eager clutch of her slender fingers, the wanting clasp of her supple lips, and the raring flare of his desire as he held her to him.

Many thanks to those of you who have given these excerpts or the posted draft chapters a read (notably zer0-damage, Shade the Raven, fivereflections, thespooneytoaster, and Electric Monk); your support has been thoughtful, inspiring, and engaging, and I couldn’t have made it even this far without it.

Excerpt: Fearless, Chapter 5 (draft)

by | Feb 22, 2012 | Excerpts, Fearless, Persona 4 Fan Fiction, Process

All heroes must remain fearless, yes?

Grimm, 1865 Edition, Cover image

Kinder-und Hausmarchen, 1865 edition.
Image courtesy squidoo.com

Ross nodded, his eyes lingering on her as she padded into the bathroom. Shortly, he heard the sound of shower curtain rings being pulled along a bar, and then the staccato patter of water, and then he turned his attention to the low bookcase beside the chest of drawers, in an effort to distract himself from the thought of Amber naked and wet no more than a section of hallway away.

A closer perusal of the book titles stacked side to side on the shelves didn’t give him any greater insight into the girl who’d placed them there…until he noticed one book – a tall, thick, weathered hardback – that was more worn and more beaten than any of the others, and significantly so. He wasn’t much surprised to realise that it was a book of faery tales (it wasn’t readily evident what “Märchen” meant, but “Grimm” was easy enough for him to recognise). Pulling it from the shelf, he opened it onto one supporting forearm with a creak of stiff binding.

The stories were written in the original German, which – with the exception of a few very simple words (yes, no, sorry) – he couldn’t read, but many of the crudely-coloured pictures were familiar from the bedtime stories from his youth. He wondered a bit absently why this particular book was so much more tattered than the rest; even the most misshapen paperbacks were in better condition than this old tome. And then, while flipping through the pages from back to front, a very familiar word written in black script on the inside front cover caught his eye, and he paused.

For Amber, my darling princess, the message read, and Ross paused, as he felt a sharp if short twinge of jealousy that made him frown. Was there some other bloke, then, for whom she longed more than any other, and for whom he’d now have to silently compete for her attention and affection, just like he’d done with so many other women over the years?

The inscription went on:

You are a more valuable treasure than any of prince or devil. Be brave, even in the darkest forests. With more love than you know, Your Father.

Sitting there on the bed, with the book laid open across his arm, Ross paused again, feeling abruptly stupid for his jealousy. Because of course such a gift from her father would be so tattered and used. He understood well the quiet desperation of a man- or woman-child trying to hold on to something so cherished lost; he’d spent a long time of his youth trying to be like his own father for that reason, like the good-natured husband and all-knowing dad that James Finch had been. But even the years at Torpoint and keeping a lifeboat rescue pager in his pocket wouldn’t bring back a dead man, any more than Amber’s wear and tear of a precious gift of a storybook would make her own father come home.

Staring at the written words on the inside cover for what seemed like a long time, Ross felt both privileged and despicable to have been given this glance into Amber’s secret innocence.

I guess some folks would consider this a lot of pointless detail into the past personal life of a character, but I enjoy these glimpses. I think that people are just as much products of their pasts as they are of the events that happen to them in the present.

Excerpt: Fearless, Chapter 4 (draft)

by | Feb 19, 2012 | Excerpts, Fearless

This was the first real romantic scene I got to write for Ross and Amber.

I’ve always written right from my brain (especially for NaNoWriMo!), and I tend to get long-winded about romance passages in particular. But, you know what? Even though I’ll likely have to cut a lot of this when an editor gets their hands on it, I still really enjoy it. I like the ebb and flow of run-on sentences that evoke that tumbling feeling that we get when we’re falling in love, whether for the first time or the fifteenth.

The large grassy precipice of Crow’s Point was empty, an unbroken expanse of green grass that stretched toward the sea on one side, toward the village on another, and on the third back toward the path and road they’d just walked. There was no artificial illumination up here, and the lights from the village shopfronts and homes weren’t enough to create more than a quaint tableau that looked like a model train set far below. But the stars overhead were bright, blinking and twinkling and shining without competition, and they cast enough light for them to see where their steps flattened the thick grass, and more than enough light for Ross to watch how Amber’s face beamed as she took in the view.

She looked out toward the horizon first, then turned her head slowly in the direction of the village, for a long minute just blinking. Then she smiled, and clasped at his hand, which she hadn’t yet let go. Finally, she whispered, “It’s all so beautiful,” in a voice so hushed that he almost might not have known she’d spoken at all, except that he found it very difficult to tear his eyes away from her lips and the way that they glistened in the starlight as she smiled and spoke.

“It certainly is,” he said, still watching her.

She turned to him now, and abruptly giggled. “You’re not even looking!” she mock-scolded.

“I am so!” he told her with a chuckle. But then he quickly quieted, shifting on his feet so that he was facing her, and reached out with his free hand to caress the round part of her jaw. “I’m looking at you,” he told her softly. Then he bent his head down to hers, lifting her face at the same time (or maybe she did that; he couldn’t quite tell). And in the warm space between where they stood, their lips met each other halfway, clutching in one soundless kiss, then another, and still yet another.

Ross let go of her hand at last, trading her fingers for the gentle curve of the small of her back; he felt both of her arms wind their way around his shoulders, and she pressed up into his embrace, humming faintly into his mouth. There was no swaying or shuffling, just the soft, sweet-smelling squeeze of her body against his as their lips and tongues danced a delightful give and take of blooming desire.

He pulled her closer then, and she gave another sighing breath against his lips as he sank slowly to his knees. The lush grass was as soft a bed as any, and so he lowered her to its springy top, never once breaking from their kiss.

He stretched out on top of her, moving very gently with his chest and hips. Then he finally unclasped his lips from hers, though only just enough that he could look at her.

She blinked up at him, her eyes reflecting starlight in a mesmerising and beautiful way that he’d never seen before. And it made him touch his mouth to hers again, very softly, as he planted tiny kisses at one corner of her lips, then moved over their fullest rise, and finally came to rest at the other corner, where he lingered the longest.

She answered all of these in kind, with each successive kiss her chest rising and falling against him, until she was nearly gasping like a sprinter, her breaths warm and wet and sweet.

Ross slid one hand between them, pressing his palm to the side of one of her breasts even as he buried his face into the side of her neck, groaning, “I want you.”

Amber’s fingers dove into his hair, clutching the back of his head to hold him close. She whispered his name, her lips brushing the ridge of his ear just right to make him groan again, and screw his hips against her.

“I need to tell you something,” she said then, just before he pressed his mouth to hers anew, in a word- and worry-smothering kiss.

They parted ever so briefly and ever so barely for breath, and around their darting tongues he told her, “It can wait ’til after.”

But she shook her head and pulled her chin back from him, muttering, “No. No, it can’t.” And she abruptly let him go from her embrace, pushing against the hollow of his shoulder with the heel of one hand.

She moved her fingers to his cheek, stroking gently. “What happened this afternoon-” she began, and then she drew a breath.

He chuckled, hazarding a guess: “Do you want me to do that again?”

She chuckled, too, but very softly, and quite haltingly. “No,” she said. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

He almost frowned. “I thought you liked it?”

She gave another quiet laugh, the same as before. “I did,” she said. “Of course, I did.” But then her gaze fell away, and she pressed her lips together between her teeth, still hesitant. And then, she uttered the one word that he didn’t want to hear from her at that moment:

“But….”

He pulled back from her. “But what?”

“But,” she started again, and now she finally returned her gaze to him, her lashes fluttering anxiously. “I can’t go on pretending.”

Rising slowly on one elbow, Ross heard himself swallow thickly as he scanned her face; that sudden and all-too-familiar look of apology in her eyes was like a knife twisting in his gut.

Stupid. How could he have been so stupid to think that she would be any different from anyone else? From Sam? From Susanna?

He was about to simply come out and say that there was nothing wrong with just taking the moments they’d been given. That there didn’t need to be any deeper meaning to it, that he could be whatever she wanted for tonight, maybe for a lot of nights. That she excited him in a way that he hadn’t felt in too long, and what was so bad about enjoying that excitement while it lasted? He’d already shown her that he could make her feel wonderful and wanted; this didn’t have to be anything more than just taking that to the next level. Just let them hold on to each other for a little while, before she went back to whatever nice, proper, rich bloke she had waiting for her away from this little village on the sea.

God, Ross. Take your own advice, buddy, and relax. This girl ain’t going anywhere.

For the sake of love

by | Feb 14, 2012 | Fearless, Process, Uncategorized

And even though the words tickling at the edge of his tongue were silly and foolish and the sort of clichéd romantic tripe that he’d always eschewed, Ross said them, anyway. – from my work-in-progress, Fearless

It’s Valentine’s Day around here. Typically, the day is reserved for professing (or re-professing) your love to your significant other, whether that be your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, anime pillow, or whatever.

As someone who has long been a sucker for romance (both in general and writing it), I’m torn between disparate feelings for this day. I’ve never been so happy with my husband as I’ve been with anyone or anything else…but I’ve also always harbored disdain for the hearts and cards and chocolates proclaiming that this is the only day that matters for lovers, when, in fact, every day should be special with the person – or people – whom you love. Of course, my husband is not an overly-romantic man: his idea of a token of affection is a sour ale poured into a pretty glass. (But, to be fair, I do appreciate my Duchesse.) This is good and bad, for me as a writer.

Writing women in romantic escapades and conundrums is easy: I can just project myself into that woman, and imagine what I’d love for a man to do for, to, or with me. But writing a man becomes more difficult. Some writers, no matter their gender, can write perfect romantic prose. Me, I’ve got to “hear” and “see” men whom I know – like my husband – saying their words or performing their actions. This is likely considered a crutch by many, but – again, just for me, specifically – it helps me to create a portrait of a man that I can understand as well as appreciate. (And while my husband might not be a Lancelot or Romeo, I’ve got other friends who come closer. So it’s not all about plopping one specific person into a character.)

Saying all of that, though, I think I like even my romantic leads to be resistant to the swooniness of a day like Valentine’s Day, and its associated stereotypical lovey-dovey moments. The girls are free to be hopeless romantics dreaming of a swashbuckler, but the boys need to be a bit standoffish to it all.

You know, at least on the surface. Because what’s the point of romance if you can’t be just a little bit dizzy about it all?