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Five Sentence Fiction: “You Never Forget Your First”

by | Feb 16, 2013 | Fearless, Short Stories | 22 comments

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My go at this week’s Five Sentence Fiction prompt from Lillie McFerrin: CHERISH.

If you aren’t familiar with Five Sentence Fiction, Lillie gives us a one-word prompt, and we’re to write a five-sentence story on what it means to or evokes in us. We don’t have to use the specific prompt word, by the way.

If the word strikes a chord in you, too, why not pop by Lillie’s site and have a go? Challenges are up Thursday through Wednesday, so there’s still plenty of time to join in on the fun!

“You Never Forget Your First”

Blowing a breath of appreciation between his lips, he laid her down in the sand, smoothing his hands along her curves. The touch of her sparked a familiar rush, a deep longing like ancestral memory aeons old. Soon, he’d press his body to her, and they’d be together, like one, fast and free and eternal, if only for a moment.

From over his shoulder, Amber gave a tsk, and muttered, “Sometimes, I think you love that board more than you love me.”

Ross just snickered, replying, “You never forget your first.”

The memories of first loves tend to linger, no matter who – or what – they are. Sometimes, you just have to accept them along with the one you love. (Ross’s custom Keahana board, for anyone interested, is a variation on the Skindog pintail Noserider design. Because you always remember your first.)

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What part of your past – or present – do you CHERISH?

22 Comments

  1. McGuffyAnn
    McGuffyAnn on February 16, 2013 at 08:20

    This was a good angle for the prompt. It made me think of my husband and his guitar.

  2. The Writers Village
    The Writers Village on February 16, 2013 at 11:38

    my wife and her pottery wheel, me and my tennis racquet.
    Our bed, clean sheets and our pillows….. mmmm.

    Nice littel 5 sentence story. good job with the twist.
    Randy

  3. itsjennythewren
    itsjennythewren on February 17, 2013 at 13:46

    understand the board idea- men always put objects 1st lol 😉 really enjoyed reading this- well done! x

  4. deanabo
    deanabo on February 17, 2013 at 14:19

    I love the twist!

  5. jmmcdowell
    jmmcdowell on February 17, 2013 at 19:39

    Such a nice take on how our feelings toward objects can be as deep as those toward people. But after your last post, my mind immediately jumped to rough encounters when “he laid her down in the sand.” 😉

  6. 4amWriter
    4amWriter on February 18, 2013 at 05:39

    Very clever, Mayumi. I think this moment says a lot about Ross and the relationship between Ross and Amber. That she is aware of his passion for surfing is meaningful.

  7. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:54

    Thanks, Ann. Significant others usually have something at least as significant as their others, don’t they? 😀

  8. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:54

    Thanks, Randy! I kept thinking of my own husband’s music for this one. Glad you liked it. 🙂

  9. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:55

    Thanks, Jenny! It’s hard to tear ourselves away from our first loves. 😉

  10. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:55

    Thanks, Deana!

  11. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:56

    That was on purpose, JM! I think “things” aren’t nearly as important as people, but they do hold a special place in our hearts. Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 18, 2013 at 09:56

    Thanks, Kate. I really like that observation you have about Amber; it’s very true!

  13. Lizzie Koch
    Lizzie Koch on February 18, 2013 at 11:12

    Fabulous twist! Gorgeous description and personification. xxx

  14. McGuffyAnn
    McGuffyAnn on February 18, 2013 at 20:16

    I like the way you think!

  15. thespooneytoaster
    thespooneytoaster on February 19, 2013 at 02:12

    I can almost see a commercial with this piece! The camera does a close-up of Ross’s face as he caresses his board, and then it pans out to show Amber’s disapproving face. Wonderful!

  16. shadetheraven
    shadetheraven on February 19, 2013 at 14:07

    As a man, I will always remember my first…car XD
    I thoroughly enjoyed the misleading sensuality of how Ross handles his board, as I would expect of any pro surfer. I wonder if he even has a pet name for it.

    Great work, Mayumi!

  17. Lisa Shambrook
    Lisa Shambrook on February 19, 2013 at 15:56

    Brilliantly written twist, tongue-in-cheek and perfectly put!

  18. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 20, 2013 at 07:00

    Thanks, Lizzie!

  19. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 20, 2013 at 07:00

    Thank you, Ann. Great minds, eh? 😉

  20. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 21, 2013 at 13:08

    Thanks for the kind words! It’s always great when a description works out just right. 🙂

  21. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 21, 2013 at 13:09

    Thanks, Shade. I hadn’t considered a pet name for the Keahana. Worth a chuckle and consideration, though. 😉

  22. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on February 21, 2013 at 13:10

    Thanks, Lisa!

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