“Enough to Last”
The high-pitched strains of concerto violins singing from the stereo in the corner. The slow-motion flutter of gossamer chiffon to the floor. The muted patter of raindrops against the window, tapping as though to be let in as witnesses to their dance.
He remembered them all, but, more than any other, the words breathed in his ear as she came and took him in her arms for the first time as had and held: “It’s always been you.”
He didn’t totally believe her, but the shine of love when he looked in her eyes could be enough to last him.
I hadn’t planned on participating in any challenges this week, but last week’s free write must have jump-started something in my writing brain, because, after taking one look at Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction prompt this week – “WHISPER” – this vignette came to me almost instantly, with only minuscule changes from the initial drafting.
I hope you, too, are enjoying freedom in your writing, as it’s a glorious feeling to have.
Did you participate in any writing challenges this week? What whisper was blown into your ear? Or, did you whisper something, yourself?
This says so much, yet leaves one wanting to know the history. Well written.
“It’s always been you.” I love that. Beautifully written.
Aww, very nice. “The slow-motion flutter of gossamer chiffon to the floor.” I love this image because I can really see it — just that alone tells me what is probably going on in the piece without having to actually read the rest.
Mayumi, I wish I had time to come and read your blog more often, because every time I do I read something that stays with me long after I have left. I really love your understated style – you always say as much with what you leave out as you put in. And as always, I love the pictures that go with your words.
This is beautiful
Written so softly, I find myself hoping that she is sincere in her words and won’t later break his trusting heart. You captured a beautiful moment!
Thank you, Ann. I’m actually not certain to which of my characters this would apply, but it was fun to write.
Thanks! Those words came to me first. Everything else just fell into place from there.
Thanks, Kate. I’ve used a similar description to that before, but it was so much longer. I liked cutting it to just the basics; it feels so much more potent. 🙂
What a lovely comment to read first thing this morning, Sally-Jayne. It really brought a smile to my face! I’m glad I can bring a bit of light to your day, too, when I can. 🙂
Thanks, Deana. 🙂
Thanks, Josie. His past makes him cynical, but I think she’s sincere. 🙂
This is beautiful; the lush description, the words ‘it’s always been you’. Really romantic. xx
It’s always a pleasure to read what you can say in so few sentences. And I’m glad you’re finding yourself inspired to write. That’s a feeling we should never take for granted!
I’m trying to keep my descriptions concise. It’s not always easy, but some moments are worth the effort. 🙂
Thanks for commenting, Lizzie!
Thanks, JM. These challenges are certainly helping me understand and appreciate the capabilities of brevity. 😉
Agreed about that good-writing feeling!