I’m back in the world of the Stowaways, for this week’s 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups (week 56).
Julia is offering the following for our prompt:
“…as my penance [for last week’s confusion,] I am posting what I hope is an easier prompt for you but with a link to my apology. The prompt is: … being clear is essential to …”
There was no direction that we needed to include those specific words (Julia is often very clear about that), so I didn’t. But, hopefully, you’ll see why it’s often so necessary to follow instructions.
“Turnabout”
“You’re not taking us back!” Stoll shouted, just as the hunter vaulted over the table, smashing his boot into Stoll’s face; blood arced from his nose as Stoll crashed to the floor, his rifle clattering beside.
Lelia’s pistol flashed up, but the hunter spun on her, slapping his hand to the base of her head to send her to the floor, too.
Tych squeezed his gloves around his spanner, but that was all. The next second, he was staring down the hunter’s gun barrel.
“Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear,” the big man growled. “I said, you’re coming with me.”
Action is not my strong suit, but I do enjoy dabbling with it, every now and again. I figured it was warranted for this moment, seeing as it’s a follow-up to Aral’s scene, from an earlier prompt.
I’m thinking more and more I’d like to examine these characters in greater detail. Perhaps for this year’s NaNoWriMo?
How clear did your scene or story come out this week?
I saw and heard a little of a John Wayne type character here. Randy
I think he made himself perfectly clear in the end. The bloody nose and the slap around the head helped get the message across too.
Oh, I don’t think there is any mistranslation there. He speaks, you listen.
Quite a dynamic piece this week. Great work!
I can see some John Wayne in there, sure. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by, Randy.
Oh, nice job. You chose some great verbs: vaulted, smashing, arced. I love the word ‘clattering’ because I can hear that word. What is that called, when a word sounds like the action or noise? Am I making any sense? 🙂
I struggle with action, too. I don’t like drawn-out action, but I am afraid if it’s too brief it’s not interesting or suspenseful. Oh the life of a writer!
Are you doing NaNo? I am thinking about it, also. If I can get myself organized in the next 3 months…but if I can’t properly write a comment to a post and make sense, then there is little hope for me!
A wonderfully dramatic piece, I really enjoyed it. x
Thanks, singlemum. I agree: nothing like a boot to the face to get a fugitive’s attention.
Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks, Shade!
I kept thinking about our dA talk about this, and wanted to give the kids reason to back down from just one soldier. Glad you liked it. 🙂
I like the action. I could picture the boot in the face
Thanks, Kate!
I like action, but it’s not my forte. I suppose it’s something I need to practice.
I am considering NaNo this year – it’s always fun – but I, too, need to get myself organized. Start of school, family vacations, plus finishing a first draft that should have been done months ago are not easy things to juggle! 🙂
Thank you, Susan. I do love me the drama. 🙂
Thanks, Heather. That whole scene came about from the boot in the face, actually!