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100-Word Challenge: One More Night

by | Aug 8, 2012 | Short Stories | 22 comments

For week 53 of the 100-Word Challenge for Grown-ups, Julia has given us a specific text prompt:
… would seven prove to be too much? …..
As usual, you have 100 words to add to these 7 making 107 in total to produce your piece.

I tamed things down a bit from my initial idea for this prompt, though I still stayed close to some characters with whom I’ve spent some time in the past….

“One More Night”

One, two, three were honest. Even four was believable. Five was unlikely, though, making six worthy of suspicion. Would seven prove to be too much?

“You’re not coming home?”

“I’m sorry,” he said into the phone, again. He nearly meant it, too; he could almost hear the obliging, unwitting smile in her voice.

“That’s all right,” she said. “I know your work is important.” More mundane pleasantries then, followed by vanilla farewells.

He closed his phone with a click, echoed by the snap of buttons.

“You think she suspects?”

He turned, took her in his arms, and smiled. “Don’t know. Does yours?”

She smiled, too. “Don’t care.”

Arabian_nights_004 By Virginia Frances Sterret [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

By Virginia Frances Sterret [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

There’s always a complication with these two…! Like most of my characters, though, the more I write them, the more engrossed I become in their deeper stories.

Did seven prove to be too much for someone in your story, this week? I’d love to know!

22 Comments

  1. thespooneytoaster
    thespooneytoaster on August 8, 2012 at 06:09

    Seven days? That’s the kind of thing you hear on the Maury show!

    I have been wondering if seven is too much, except when it’s pieces of chocolate, or something small like that. I can’t seem to think of anything seven-ish that would also work. Though, I guess seven days recovering from having a wooden plank removed from your abdomen without the aid of morphine or any pain killers would make sense for my story. At least they make a full recovery, right?

  2. The Writers Village
    The Writers Village on August 8, 2012 at 06:19

    great story…I like where you took the line, liked the tone, liked liked liked.
    Who knows, maybe it’ll be 101 nights?

  3. Sally
    Sally on August 8, 2012 at 07:33

    Mundane pleasantries and vanilla farewells – brilliant.

  4. sjbwriting
    sjbwriting on August 8, 2012 at 08:34

    These characters are so well written I really feel as if I know them well now. I’d love to get a deeper peek into their “other” lives to find out what their family lives are like. Is there are reason for their actions or are they just selfish? More please!!

  5. Sandra
    Sandra on August 8, 2012 at 09:44

    Looks like we thought along similar lines this week. Nice one.

  6. dreampunkgeek
    dreampunkgeek on August 8, 2012 at 16:48

    Love your writing style and characters.

  7. shadetheraven
    shadetheraven on August 9, 2012 at 00:27

    Oh my, how scandalously saucy indeed!
    Were this anyone else, I would pin this as about the time where things catch up to these two lovers and everything goes south. But knowing your style, I don’t think it would ever be so simple. And I’d certainly like to see just how far this will indeed go.

    Magnificent work!

  8. 4amWriter
    4amWriter on August 9, 2012 at 18:06

    Ooh, I like this. Now I have a question–did you tailor the piece to meet the prompt or did you already have this written with them at their “7th chance”?

  9. itsjennythewren
    itsjennythewren on August 9, 2012 at 21:31

    Vanilla farewells- love it!! Is this a follow on from last week?? Did she really buy it? X

  11. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 12:59

    Seven nights is probably the more pressing issue…!
    The prompt doesn’t necessarily need to relate to your big story. Sometimes, it’s fun just to stretch out into other stories, for a while.

  12. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 12:59

    Thank you! It very well could turn into 101 nights, at the rate these characters are growing on me. 🙂

  13. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:00

    Thanks, Sally. I liked that line a lot, myself.

  14. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:02

    Thanks, Sally-Jayne. They have taken a hold of me, of late, I’ll admit. Examining too closely their reasons (or lack thereof) will certainly be a soul-search. I’m happy to oblige readers who enjoy them, though!

  15. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:03

    Thanks, Sandra. I liked where you went with yours, too. It was a nice turnaround I’m not ready to write, here, yet. 😉

  16. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:04

    Thanks, dreampunkgeek. I genuinely work hard on both style and characterization, the latter especially. It’s just not a good story without good characters!

  17. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:05

    Thanks, Shade.
    Contemplating the ins and outs of a relationship like this one is definitely not easy. (I honestly don’t know where they’d take me, either!)

  18. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:07

    Thank you, Kate.
    Honestly, I struggled with this prompt: went about four different directions with it before I decided to come back to Robb and Emma (and, even then, it was rough going). So, it was definitely a tailor to the prompt…though, the prompt isn’t far from where I’d take them, anyway.

  19. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:08

    Thanks, Jenny! That is probably my favorite line from this one, too. 🙂
    This is indeed a carryover from last week’s 100WCGU entry. And, poor Felicia…she’s such a tender, trusting soul…!

  20. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 10, 2012 at 13:09

    Thanks, Susan. It gave me some trouble, but I’m pretty happy with the way it came together, in the end. 🙂

  21. Gilly Gee
    Gilly Gee on August 10, 2012 at 17:44

    Mundane pleasantries and vanilla farewells – superb!

  22. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on August 13, 2012 at 08:26

    Thanks, Gilly. That was my favorite bit, too. 🙂