Only one prompt this time, for 100-Word Challenge for Grown-Ups. This week (76), Julia’s prompt is:
…beneath the surface…
We are to “keep to the 100 words plus the 3 above,” giving us a total of 103 words to tell the story.
This one came pretty easily to me, as I cranked it out in about an hour. But, then, I think this is likely a situation close to many of our hearts, not just my own….
“A Deeper Reflection”
Fixing her gaze on her disrobed reflection, Sally sighed.
What lay beneath the surface was more important, she knew…but, what had happened to that surface? The flat belly, high breasts, slim hips – where had they gone?
The creak and click of the bedroom door, signalling Larry’s return, made her scramble for pants and bra.
His warm, damp embrace stopped her. “Just a mo’.”
Cringing from his tickling hair, she laughed, despite herself. “You’re wet!”
“You’re gorgeous,” he replied, nuzzling her neck.
She hummed. “You think?”
He plucked her clothes from her hand; they fell to the floor with his towel. “I know.”
I have some writerly friends who can use this short form of storytelling to weave tales of excitement, danger, whimsy, and mystery. I can manage that, on occasion. Mostly, though, these prompts tend to lead me to more mundane places, such as Sally’s fretting over her aging, motherly body…and Larry’s still-full love of the same.
Writing for these Songbirds often feels like writing my own life (sans the fantastic timey-wimey stuff, of course). Maybe that’s why I keep coming back to them. I suppose I should feel blessed that my life and loves are basically happy. And, I certainly am. It doesn’t exactly make for riveting storytelling, though.
How did you look beneath the surface, this week? Let me know!
We all feel this way as we get older and your description of these feelings were perfect.
The action in the story was well done, and I was aroused by the sexual desire and love between the two characters, identifying with the same feeling I have towards my wife.
You didn’t tell me what to feel, you made me feel.
I really liked this and not only because I could completely identify with it. Simply because it’s written so well. Thanks!
I have just seen that the previous person who commented also wrote ‘Thanks’. Coincidence – because I think this must be more or less the only time I have done so in about a year’s commenting! Must be good!!
If I could give Larry any more props than I already have, he has earned them right here.
When you do love, however young, old, naughty, or nice, you write it beautifully. And this is another outstanding one.
Excellent work, Mayumi!
You really showed such a wonderful moment between these two—and absolutely many of us can identify with those feelings in front of the mirror. If only we could see more relationships like this in the various media. Maybe young girls would grow up with healthier self-images!
Thank you, Randy! I’m glad this one manages to resonate, as it does so well with me and my husband.
Thanks! (I say that a lot, too.)
Thanks, Shade. Is it any wonder I love the guy as much as I do? 🙂
Thanks, JM. I didn’t used to think so much about my self-image as a woman. But, as I’ve gotten older, it’s certainly something I think about. Nice to know there are some of us who aren’t judged for it, though, at least by some people. 🙂