I wish I didn’t care whether other people like my stories or not.
I wish I didn’t care about reader responses or hit statistics or any of that pointless crap.
I wish I could tear out this part of me that does care, if only so I wouldn’t feel like such a useless, no-talent shit all of the time when my numbers don’t go up, and nobody says anything, and I feel so Goddamn alone.
I wish that part of me would go away. I wish that part of me would die. I wish I could just kill that part of myself, because I’m just so fucking tired of it all, and I know that if I didn’t care, all of this would be so. Much. Easier.