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100-Word Challenge: A Wild Ride

by | Jun 20, 2012 | Short Stories, Songbirds | 16 comments

Welcome to another submission for the 100-Word Challenge for Grown-Ups (week 46)!

I didn’t submit to last week’s article prompt (though I did use it as inspiration for another vignette), but this week, we’re back to my bread and butter of flash fiction writing. Prompt as follows, per Julia:

… in the dark recess of my mind …
As usual you have 100 words to add to these 7 making 107 altogether. Make sure you keep the prompt as it is….

Here’s my take:

“A Wild Ride”

“…Are you scared?”

“No. Now, stop talking. You’re shaking the plane.”

“Would you relax? Nothing’s going to happen. We’re perfectly safe.”

“Look, logically, historically, empirically, I know that. But, in the dark recess of my mind, I can’t help but think this is impossible! Man simply was not meant to scream through the air in a giant sardine tin!”

“The only one screaming, here, is you.”

“Your compassion is overwhelming.”

“Listen. Whenever you feel nervous, just squeeze my hand. Just like that. There. Better?”

“…Yeah. Thanks.”

“I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too.”

“Oh, I can’t wait for you to meet my parents- ow!”

Lovers natural 1280

I’ve been up and down on planes so many times in the last week-and-a-half, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take that somewhat cryptic, almost foreboding prompt of words and make it into something light-hearted…and close to my own experiences.

I don’t usually do straight dialogue-only pieces, but I don’t think any description is really needed, here. Plus, my Songbirds stories are built around simplicity.

How did you interpret the prompt? Did you go dark, or light?

16 Comments

  1. sjbwriting
    sjbwriting on June 20, 2012 at 11:21

    I love that you went light! It was so easy this week to fall into the trap of doing something dark and sinister. This one really made me laugh! I can relate to that feeling so well – I’m not scared of flying, but I do always think there is something slightly preposterous about a huge lump of metal filled with hundreds of people plus luggage being able to fly.

  2. annahalford (@anhalf)
    annahalford (@anhalf) on June 20, 2012 at 16:17

    Great interpretation. I’d be the one squeezing the hand until it went numb!! I really liked this piece 🙂

  3. Gilly Gee
    Gilly Gee on June 20, 2012 at 17:01

    Great that you went light and fun, a perfect antidote to the G

  4. newpillowbook
    newpillowbook on June 20, 2012 at 19:45

    A good dramatization of how it feels on a plane, and a good laugh at the end!

  5. claireful
    claireful on June 21, 2012 at 03:12

    I liked that it was all dialogue, and you resisted any urge to include description or explanation. Didn’t Hemingway do that in Hills Like White Elephants.

  6. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 21, 2012 at 08:08

    Thank you, Sally-Jayne!
    I have no fear of flying…but I’ve had my hand held through many flights. Though, when I think about it, it is crazy that humans have developed a way to soar in the sky using metal and fire! 🙂

  7. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 21, 2012 at 08:09

    Thank you, Anna. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    I’ve had my hand squeezed a lot on flights, so it was easy to imagine! 😀

  8. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 21, 2012 at 08:09

    Thanks, Gilly! It was great fun to write.

  9. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 21, 2012 at 08:09

    Thanks, newpillowbook!
    I wanted to offer a bit of humor to those who made it through. I’m glad it came through! 🙂

  10. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 21, 2012 at 08:11

    Thank you, claireful.
    I enjoy writing description, but sometimes straight dialogue can do more, especially under pressure of wordcount. I think it really only works with two characters in a scene, though. More than that, and you’ve got to have a really good grasp on the competing voices.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  11. itsjennythewren
    itsjennythewren on June 21, 2012 at 16:35

    lovely piece and lighthearted interpretation to prompt- also fits in with your busy week 🙂

  12. Sparks In Shadow
    Sparks In Shadow on June 21, 2012 at 20:42

    Sometimes when I read something in this challenge and get lost in a word I don’t understand in the place it’s in, I forget that many participants are in the UK and I’m in the US. (I’m sure that sort of thing happens with my readers too. 🙂 ) That being said, I like how you went with this and I enjoyed the naturalness of your dialogue. Some of my better pieces are pure dialogue so I get what you said about how it can sometimes do more.

    It was nice to read one that found a lighter side to the prompt. My first impulse was to go dark.

  13. Midlife Singlemum
    Midlife Singlemum on June 22, 2012 at 14:46

    I’m not scared of flying but the older I get, the happier I am when we land. I’ve had my hand held, and I’ve held someone’s hand for my benefit on a couple of particuarly rough landings. Hand holders are a valuable service to the flying industry – thank you. And I enjoyed your post. Why does everyone keep calling it light though – I think panicking in a plane is quite dark, although not sinister.

  14. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 24, 2012 at 15:13

    Thanks, Jenny! Going up and down on flights, I just had to interpret the prompt this way. 🙂

  15. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 24, 2012 at 15:14

    Thanks for commenting, Sparks.

    I, too, sometimes forget which side of the pond I’m on, especially with these prompts. 🙂

  16. Mayumi-H
    Mayumi-H on June 24, 2012 at 15:17

    I’ve offered the held hand a few times, now, so I’m aware of the importance of them. I didn’t mean to imply that the overall subject matter is one to be treated lightly, but the conversation was meant to be affectionately teasing.

    Thanks for the comment, Singlemum. It did make me think differently about the response to my intent. 🙂